houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
Having sex in
a twin bed is out of the question.
You keep more
food than beer in the fridge.
6:00 AM is
when you get up, not when you go to bed.
You hear your
favorite song in an elevator.
You watch the
marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up."
You go from
130 days of vacation time to 14.
Jeans and a
sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't turn down
relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
You feed your
dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
the couch makes your back hurt.
Dinner and a
movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than
settle, your stomach.
You go to the
drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms
and pregnancy tests.
bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
"I just can't
drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much
90% of the
time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
You drink at
home to save money before going to a bar.
When you find
out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh
S*$# what the hell happened?"
You read this
entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you
and can't find one to save you.
Then you forward it to a bunch of old pals & friends 'cause you know
they'll enjoy it & do the same.