-
Your
houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
-
Having sex in
a twin bed is out of the question.
-
You keep more
food than beer in the fridge.
-
6:00 AM is
when you get up, not when you go to bed.
-
You hear your
favorite song in an elevator.
-
You watch the
Weather Channel.
-
Your friends
marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up."
-
You go from
130 days of vacation time to 14.
-
Jeans and a
sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
-
You're the
one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't turn down
the stereo.
-
Older
relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
-
You don't
know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
-
Your car
insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
-
You feed your
dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
-
Sleeping on
the couch makes your back hurt.
-
You take
naps.
-
Dinner and a
movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
-
Eating a
basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than
settle, your stomach.
-
You go to the
drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms
and pregnancy tests.
-
A $4.00
bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
-
You actually
eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
-
"I just can't
drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much
again."
-
90% of the
time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
-
You drink at
home to save money before going to a bar.
-
When you find
out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh
S*$# what the hell happened?"
-
You read this
entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you
and can't find one to save you.
Then you forward it to a bunch of old pals & friends 'cause you know
they'll enjoy it & do the same.